WHAT IS THE MEANING BEHIND MY GUZSADHEART?
I get asked this question a lot. What is the meaning of my GuzSadHeart? Or why am I always drawing Sad Hearts?
Well, let me start from the beginning then.
I have dealt with anxiety and depression throughout my entire life. Anxious and depressed use to be words I would have used to describe myself. There were times it was so bad, I felt I would have taken my own life if I had not been just as afraid of dying as I was of living.
With my love for tattoos (specifically the American Traditional style), and my history of battling anxiety/depression, I was inspired by and related to the ‘grimm hearts’ and ‘crying hearts’ you would see in early American Traditional tattooing. Like many others, I did my own interpretation of a Sad Heart. I would draw them over and over in different variations.
(GuzSadHearts marker drawing done in 2015.)
This was a way to vent through my art and express myself. I also hoped others going through the same things, might relate to it and feel more understood by my sad hearts.
Just this past month, I finally got a Happy Heart tattooed on me with PMA (Positive Mental Attitude) written under it. This was in celebration for all the healing I’ve received in the past few years and for the commitment to continue working on my positivity and walk with Christ that leads me in battling my anxiety.
It was in celebration of me no longer allowing “anxious” and “depressed” to be names that define me. Those are things I am battling; not who I am.
(My new blast-over PMA Happy Heart tattoo by @luxiano31)
I never thought I would even get this far really, and that in itself makes me have hope it can get even better. People used to tell me, “It gets better” and I didn’t believe them because I didn’t feel anyone understood where I was at and I couldn’t see how it could get any better, especially when it’s all I knew my entire life. I never knew my life without anxiety and depression…my thoughts would say, maybe it was just who I was.
This was so not true though and I’m so happy they were right. It DOES get better. And I pray even if you don’t believe me now or you think I just don’t get it because my situation is different than yours, I pray you will just hold on to the smallest hope that I am right and it will get better. We are all different and our mental illness varies, but what I do know is there is still healing out there for you. The world needs you.
And this is why I will proudly continue to draw Sad Hearts….some days for me in my pain and some days for you in your pain….For everyone with a broken heart, for everyone going through something, for those battling mental illness, for those who feel like quitting, for those who feel alone, for those who feel misunderstood…..you are not alone. You are beyoutiful. This world needs YOU because there is no one else like you.
And for you, maybe you see the SadHeart and it speaks to you in a whole other way, or means something totally different for you, but you connect with it...I love that and I love how art does that...it will speak to us and make us feel understood in different ways because we are all unique with unique journeys.
Feel free to comment. I’d love to hear your story. I think it’s so important to share our stories with each other. I know it can be so hard to be vulnerable, but I also know and have come to learn, you never know who really needs to hear it. You could change someone’s life, you could encourage someone, just by sharing your story.
“I now know what frees me from anxiety and depression, and that’s Jesus.
I am not in anxiety alone. I am not in depression alone. I am in Christ alone.” - Guz